HRendous Week

I LOVE the TV show “The Office.” I could watch that show all day every day. There are some things that happen on the show that are a real testament to what it’s like to work in an office, but there are also some things that occur that just would NEVER be allowed to happen in my HR world (mostly the antics of Michael and Dwight). For those of you who are foolish and are not watching this show, the idea behind it is that a documentary film crew is around at all times capturing the action and frequently the office employees talk one on one to the camera to express their secret thoughts and feelings. Today I am making this blog my own personal documentary camera crew so I can share with you my secret thoughts and feelings about my office job.

So…..speaking of my HR world, let me tell you it has been an interesting time in my sphere of influence lately. For a little background info, I’ve been working at my company for almost 9 years now. Next year, I’ll have been here over 9 years and will start to accrue 4 weeks of vacation annually – COLOR ME HAPPY. But it’s certainly no secret to those of you who know me that lately things have been rocky. I’m not going to rehash what you already know, but suffice it to say when you work in HR, going through 6 layoffs in less than two years’ time is rough. Each one does not get easier, instead it gets more personal.
Most of you probably don’t know what I really do every day. Maybe you think perhaps I create iTunes playlists all day (sometimes I do!). But I want to tell you a little about the week I just had. Here are a few things that I’ve dealt with over the past 5 days:

• An employee returning from leave of absence due to a certain addiction this liberal country considers protected under the Americans With Disabilities Act called me because he was had not received his paycheck yet. I had to find out why and deal with his attitude and phone calls every hour.
• Employee returning from Maternity Leave did not provide the documentation we need to accept her back.
• An Employee resigned and we asked him not bother coming back in to work through his notice.
• Another employee resigned. My boss asked me to throw an office party in her honor and order her an engraved memento in gratitude for her years of service.
• 4 female employees started a leave of absence due to various illnesses and causes. I advised several of them about filing for disability.
• My employee on Maternity leave decided she does want to come back to work, so I had to tell her replacement that we would no longer be needing her to work for us anymore. If there’s nothing I hate more, it’s telling someone they are out of a job, even if it only was temporary to begin with.
• I organized and threw the office party for the girl who’s leaving. I created an iTunes playlist of songs (including Oingo Boingo’s ‘Goodbye, Goodbye’) and hooked it to the speakers here at work and played the songs during lunch. She loved the engraved crystal vase I ordered her.
• I advised a manager on how to write-up her employee who yelled at her and was completely insubordinate to her but later apologized and thought that would erase it.
• Advised two managers who found beer in the refrigerator of one of our division sales offices. They now have to issue a warning about violation of our ethics policy.
• Witnessed a violent altercation of words between two co-workers who work next to me. I was so uncomfortable listening to it that I kept my head low and my eyebrows raised. Had to get upper levels of HR involved on this one and the term “hostile work environment” was uttered (by them, not me). I’ve never heard such anger being spewed in an office before, and considering the guy I used to work for that is saying something.
• Spoke with another female employee on leave due to her recent surgery, asking if she can work from home.
• Dealt with two former employees who called me claiming we owe them more money than they were paid out before they left. One lady’s claim to more dough goes back two years. TWO YEARS. Why she waited two years to mention it, I cannot guess.
• Worked with our Worker's Comp Claims adjustor on a file for one of our employees who filed a claim, cannot return to work because she supposedly is in so much pain, yet we discovered through an investigator while she's been off work, she has been going to school to earn her master's degree. Needless to say, this one will be going to arbitration.

It is a week like this that really makes me wish there was a Jim and Pam romance in my life:

Or maybe an opportunity to encase my co-worker’s stapler in Jell-O:

I’d even welcome a Michael-esque team building excursion at this point: But since it is Friday, I’ll settle for a quiet weekend at home working on my scrapbooking at watching reruns of The Office instead.

It's a MAC MAC World

It’s no secret to all you who know me that I have a makeup obsession. It’s gotten worse lately and I felt compelled to blog about it. Maybe it will help purge the need to keep buying eyeshadows, but I doubt it. Here’s a little summary of what I’ve bought lately:

MAC – 3 eyeshadows to add to my collection (see below): Nehru, Newly Minted, and Magnetic Fields and a cheek color called Frankly Scarlet
Benefit – creaseless cream eyeshadow (towne car) and lipstick (make nice)
MAC and Benefit are my two favs. If I could afford it, I’d have more Lancome, too. Even if they are French.


One of my favorite moments ever was when my friend Amberie came to my house and I showed her my bedroom. When she saw my vanity area she said “So this is where the magic happens!”

I am not kidding you when I tell you my dream job is to be a makeup artist, but I am not good enough for that. I love giving makeovers and if I ever have to take a second job to help pay the mortgage my first stop will be either MAC or Sephora.

Below are pictures of some of my favorite makeup looks lately.

Colors used above:
Flammable(MAC paints)
Mulch (MAC shadow)
Benefit's High Brow
and Lancome's Black Coffee

Colors used above: Fashion Show (Lancome)

Mythology (MAC shadow)

Mulch (MAC shadow)
Benefit's High Brow
and Lancome's Black Coffee

MAC Colors Used Abovce: Vanilla, Phloof!, Patina, Jade, Steamy, Plumage

MAC lipstick Dubonnet

This one's from Halloween, it's not my everyday look despite what some of you might say or think!

Back in Black!

OK, Cynthia convinced me that I needed to get back on blogspot, so I have done so. It took me 20 minutes to get past the required google registration (don't ask). Cyn suggested I copy and past the blogs I have written from my verizon website here, so I have done so. They are all copied below. Feel free to comment away!

My Alternative Lifestyle

Monday, June 2, 2008
My sister Cynthia has blogged about Grumpy Old Man from Saturday Night Live before and I liked it. I had a few people ask me the usual pleasantry today of “How was your weekend?” and I actually told most people what I did and what was said, because I feel like Grumpy Old Man when I tell it, and I like it. So read on!

This past Saturday, my great friend Meridith and I went to Candlelight Pavilion, a wonderful little gem of a dinner theatre in nearby Claremont. The show we were seeing was called Kismet, a fun little musical set in ancient Baghdad. We love going to CP because the shows are usually stellar and the food is wonderful. The thing about CP though is that you are seated and eating a meal with virtual strangers. This can be a really cool thing if you’re seated with good people. Or it can be a really bad thing if you’re seated with hideous people. We actually got lucky and were seated with a very nice (if extremely talkative!) couple who were celebrating their 27th wedding anniversary that night. They were friendly and we chatted a lot over our meal. Now if you’re reading this you know me and you know I use endearments a lot when I am speaking to my friends and family. I say things like “my dear” or “sweetie” or “luv”or other nonsense like that. I’m pretty good about curbing it when we’re in public situations like that, though. But I forgot. At one point, Meridith and I were splitting our entrée (so that we could both fully appreciate the menu) and as we were switching it up I said something like “oh just put it there my dear” in a completely blasé tone (there was no hint of sweetness or love in the expression, believe me). Well, I guess they picked up on that and when you add in the fact that we are older females not sporting wedding rings attending a dressy event together and they leaped to the conclusion. How it got mentioned was the husband told his wife she could have the last bite of their salmon mousse appetizer and I said “Now that is love!” and they laughed and then felt the need to in turn comment on Meridith’s and my “love.” Quickly we disabused them of that notion. “Oh no, we don’t swing that way. We’re just best friends, really!” UGH. So now I realize in today’s society I am going to have to face the label of the big L a lot.

So here’s where the Grumpy Old Man in me (uh-oh!, should I risk referring to the “man” in me???) wants to shout out “In my day we wouldn’t look at two women out on the town and think they must be lesbians!!!!” Now I’m a little hyper-paranoid and wonder if my neighbors who don’t know me think the same thing since, after all, I live in my house with another woman. Well ultimately I don’t care and people will think what they will think no matter what and it has no impact on my life whatsoever. But still, it’s a pretty sorry state of affairs when a girl can’t hang out with her female best friend without people thinking there must be something more to their relationship.

TXTESE: Ixnay on the English-hay?

Wednesday, March 12, 2008
When I was growing up, Pig Latin was the exciting way to butcher the English language and still somehow seem like you were talking super sly Spy Speak. I’ll be the first to admit I am not in touch with the youth of America today, but I think I do know enough to be worried about what I am beginning to refer to as “txt-ese.” Txtese is a new form of English being perpetuated by today’s youth who are completely hooked to their cell phones and other text/instant messaging services. I text myself every now and again, and admit to making some of these shortcuts. I can understand making a lot of shortcuts when you’re trying to type a dialogue on tiny cell phone buttons. But what concerns me today (enough to write this blog) is how the “shortcuts” have spilled over from texting on a cell phone into normal correspondence.

I email a lot at work. Right now I am managing two employees. One of my employees is a very young lady recently graduated from High School who sits at the office’s switchboard. This girl is really great. She is helpful, she has a wonderful attitude, she’s reliable, and pleasant. I would not say anything negative about her, except for her communication skills. She rarely talks to me in person or even over the phone. Instead, I get emails from her. Which is fine, but also sometimes just odd because a simple phone call would suffice. But that’s neither here nor there. I want to share with you below some bits that I took directly from her recent emails to me:

Thanks tho cuz I wouldn’t have known……...do you wnt coffee set up……...there are ppl in the conference room right now……...see if we need nething 4 it….…..Have ne thing 4 me to do??..........every other month there is new staff haha well hopefully……..ne ways just let me know as soon as……..I don’t want to all of a sudden b out of a job with out a back up u know…….…Do you have nething 4 me to do?..........I hate to do that to ppl because I knw it’s a burden they have wrk to do too…….…she didn’t knw we even had…….…didn’t knw of a key either…..

I get the NETHING (any thing) a lot from her. It kind of makes me bonkers. I would never send an email to my boss with this kind of grammar, but it’s not a problem for her. I make a lot of allowances for her youth and inexperience but I still have an abiding concern over what this example indicates about her generation’s communication skills and the future of the English language.

On a further note, it’s not just kids who seem to be stunted in communication skills. I think that too many people now rely on text messaging or email to address issues that ought to be addressed personally. A lot of people -- being non-confrontational or out of fear of rejection -- lately seem to reveal all in just that way. For example, the last guy I went out on dates with could only seem to tell me via text message how he felt about me. That’s in part why I told him I didn’t want to continue dating. Technology is great, but I think that with it we are beginning to de-evolve some of the best elements of human behavior. If we continue to interact with each other in such a sterile manner, how will it shape our future?

So to sum up, I’m appealing to all you parents out there – pls mke shr ur kidz knw how to spell OK? Let them know it is okay (and better!) to tell someone you love them to their face, and not just only as a message over the computer or cell phone. Together we can build a better America.



PS – Since probably only my close friends and family are reading this, let me take this opportunity to say I love you!

Life in the 951

Tuesday, March 11, 2008
for Caroline - the other C.A.H.!

OK, I've been thinking about this blog for a long time and I am finally writing it....

Kevin and Bean on Kroq make fun of the 909/951 all the time because we are the boondocks in comparison to the great metropolis of Los Angeles. A lot of what they say is true, a lot is false. It all makes for good comedy so who really cares? Even when that retarded teen soap opera "The OC" showed my home city of Chino as a virtual ghetto infested by drug dealers and unsavory characters, I had to laugh. But I digress.

I was transferred to a different work office last October. The city is called WILDOMAR and the only reason why I even knew it was one of my bosses a long time ago lived in Wildomar. When I started the commute to Wildomar, I found myself perplexed by the names of the freeway exits I kept passing by. Had I suddenly crossed a threshold onto the Twilight Zone of the Wild Wild West somehow???? Here are some of the names of exits I pass every day:

Indian Truck Trail --- I am really waiting for some tribe to take offense to this name and see it changed to "Native Peoples of America Vehicle Trail"

Diamond Drive / Railroad Canyon Road --- whenever I see this one, I think of that runaway locamotive in Back to The Future III. I have no idea why, that is how my brain just works.

Bundy Canyon Road --- There aren't any actual canyons around here, so I don't know why there are so many streets with "canyon" in the name. Surrounding hills and valleys do not a canyon make!

Clinton Keith Road --- this is actually the exit for my office. I feel like there should be a country singer named Clinton Keith. If there was, he would surely be singing with a crazy Tennessee hills twang about how he received a postcard from his spouse the week after she passed away. You know what song I am talking about, right? Stupid country music.

That's just a taste of the wierdness of the names out here. There are other streets I've come across like Winchester Road, Wooden Horse Trail, Coal Road, Horsethief Canyon Road, etc etc etc etc. I feel like I should come to work every day on a horse wearing denim jeans with suede chaps, cowboy boots with spurs, a plaid shirt, a bandana around my neck, a low-slung gunbelt studded around with spare bullets, and a 10-gallon hat.

Allrighty there pardner, that's all I have to say about that.