My Alternative Lifestyle

Monday, June 2, 2008
My sister Cynthia has blogged about Grumpy Old Man from Saturday Night Live before and I liked it. I had a few people ask me the usual pleasantry today of “How was your weekend?” and I actually told most people what I did and what was said, because I feel like Grumpy Old Man when I tell it, and I like it. So read on!

This past Saturday, my great friend Meridith and I went to Candlelight Pavilion, a wonderful little gem of a dinner theatre in nearby Claremont. The show we were seeing was called Kismet, a fun little musical set in ancient Baghdad. We love going to CP because the shows are usually stellar and the food is wonderful. The thing about CP though is that you are seated and eating a meal with virtual strangers. This can be a really cool thing if you’re seated with good people. Or it can be a really bad thing if you’re seated with hideous people. We actually got lucky and were seated with a very nice (if extremely talkative!) couple who were celebrating their 27th wedding anniversary that night. They were friendly and we chatted a lot over our meal. Now if you’re reading this you know me and you know I use endearments a lot when I am speaking to my friends and family. I say things like “my dear” or “sweetie” or “luv”or other nonsense like that. I’m pretty good about curbing it when we’re in public situations like that, though. But I forgot. At one point, Meridith and I were splitting our entrée (so that we could both fully appreciate the menu) and as we were switching it up I said something like “oh just put it there my dear” in a completely blasé tone (there was no hint of sweetness or love in the expression, believe me). Well, I guess they picked up on that and when you add in the fact that we are older females not sporting wedding rings attending a dressy event together and they leaped to the conclusion. How it got mentioned was the husband told his wife she could have the last bite of their salmon mousse appetizer and I said “Now that is love!” and they laughed and then felt the need to in turn comment on Meridith’s and my “love.” Quickly we disabused them of that notion. “Oh no, we don’t swing that way. We’re just best friends, really!” UGH. So now I realize in today’s society I am going to have to face the label of the big L a lot.

So here’s where the Grumpy Old Man in me (uh-oh!, should I risk referring to the “man” in me???) wants to shout out “In my day we wouldn’t look at two women out on the town and think they must be lesbians!!!!” Now I’m a little hyper-paranoid and wonder if my neighbors who don’t know me think the same thing since, after all, I live in my house with another woman. Well ultimately I don’t care and people will think what they will think no matter what and it has no impact on my life whatsoever. But still, it’s a pretty sorry state of affairs when a girl can’t hang out with her female best friend without people thinking there must be something more to their relationship.